One of the toughest situations for any woman to handle is when her boyfriend or spouse has cheated on her. You are probably going through a string of overwhelming emotions right now, including anger, low self-esteem, vengefulness, sadness and an overall sense of depression. If it helps you at all, you should know that your man has probably left you for reasons more complex than a simple assessment of your failures or shortcomings, and it is certainly possible for you to get your boyfriend back. If you want that, you need to be strong, pull yourself together and have a sound strategy to handle this tough circumstance.
1. Keep Yourself Calm
The first thing you need to do is stay calm while dealing with your boyfriend. Whatever your emotions, try to keep them in check as far as possible. Be clear, decisive and firm, and the last thing you want to indicate to him is that you are devastated or shattered. Once he sees that in spite of all your emotions, it is not the end of the world for you and you are strong and independent, he will really begin to regret giving you up.
2. Confronting Him
You need to confront him about what you know about his affair, and how you found out. If you have invaded his privacy, try to explain what prompted your actions. You need to be frank with him, and indicate that you expect the same. Just like it hurt you when he cheated, be prepared that he will be hurt too when he finds out that his privacy has been invaded. So, try to avoid an ugly confrontation, as far as possible. If you let this become a bitter fight, it will probably end in a break-up.
3. Find Out Why
When you talk to him, try to find out why he looked outside the relationship. It is likely that he feels he needed something from a relationship, which you did not give him. Once you know what it is, it will help you have a more fruitful relationship with your boyfriend than you have had before.
4. Put a Price
Whatever you find out about his needs from a relationship, don't be too quick to give it to him. Right now it is most important for him to know that you are not someone who will just forgive and forget. You need to directly indicate that his behavior is not acceptable. Pull some of the trust, attention and unconditional support you gave him in the past. Start making more time for yourself, and stop hanging out with him all too often. He needs to know that he has to earn your trust and respect and love all over again. Getting your boyfriend back should not in any way spell a one sided compromise for you.
When your boyfriend finds out that he cannot take your affections for granted and he has to make clear choices, he will probably respect and value you more than before. Of course, there is no perfect guarantee that you will be able to get your boyfriend back, but this way you certainly give yourself the best chance.
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