Are you in the position where you have broken up with your boyfriend but really would like to rebuild the relationship? Do you feel unhappy when you hear a certain record on the radio, go to a certain place that reminds you of the good times you once had
This is a complicated and tremendously emotionally charged time for you. It is very complex to not end up doing the wrong thing that will alienate your boyfriend more. So how do you go about getting your ex boyfriend back. I hope these suggestions will help you as they have helped me in the past.
Don’t Panic!
Above all do not panic. This can be very harmful and confirms their decision to break up. It will just push your ex boyfriend further away. So what do I imply by panic? Here are some of the classic signs:
- Text message terrorism. Sending him lots of texts
- Drunk Dialling. Phoning up your ex boyfriend when drunk or in a highly emotional state professing you undying love and pleading to come back.
- Quarrelling all the time about the fact he left you
- Trying to see family members constantly. Often to try and find out the "real" reason they have broken up from you because you cannot accept the reason they have given.
-"Accidental" meetings. These do not fool your ex boyfriend and they really do not fool you.
So what should you do?
This is really hard because it goes against all that your heart (and maybe your friends are telling you).
What you should is often opposite you feelings. At this time you agree with the breakup and are cool and calm with it (what ever you feel inside). If you have panicked then now is the time to stop, if you haven’t done any of the text messaging, drunk dialling etc then you are way ahead of the game and in a powerful position.
Why does this work?
It is important for you to realise that you have to be in control here, there are very powerful psychological facors that if you do it right will give you the best chance to get him back The most important is this - People want what they cannot have. Whether that is a car when they do not have one, big house when they do not have any money for one or love and attention when they lack it.This is the way you can work to get your ex boyfriend back. Men want what they cannot have If you make it clear that he cannot have you any longer then his psychological triggers will be activated. He will begin to want what he cannot have, this is human nature.
Here what you do as a first step
Write a short note to him saying the following things - no more no less.
1. Tell him it's OK that you are breaking up
2.If you are in the wrong, say sorry quickly, but do not dwell on it
3. Hint that something dramatic has happened in your life to change it but do not tell him
4. Say that you need space and time and wish him well
5. Finish the note by saying "Maybe at some point we could be friends"
The second step is just as important
Really do begin something new and exciting in your life, something where you are going to interact with other people especially men. For instance a great one is to start Salsa lessons - you will be dancing with new men all the time, you will get attention, and when your ex boyfriend hears about it (make sure that he does!) it will create jealousy and longing in him.
In endingI would like to remind you, relationships do come to an end and occasionally it is the right thing to happen. If you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back and having tried these tactics it does not work then it may be time to move on - which is where the salsa classes will come in handy!
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