When Adam mentioned that a new cat would be a lovely addition to our family we were absolutely in agreement that the very first place to visit should be the local shelters. Like so many other people looking for a new pet, we were planning to adopt a young animal... after all, what is more adorable than a beautiful new kitten?
That was what we thought, but the kitty that ended up coming home with us ended up being incredibly different than we expected!
We got to pet and play with a huge assortment of cats and kittens as we worked our way though all the different rooms of the facility. When we were visiting with the occupants of the last room, we saw a cage with a warning sign on it: "Caution. This Cat Bites!" So why in the world did we end up adopting an overweight, "dangerous", three-year-old cat with a chip on his shoulder when we originally came for a playful little kitten?
Because the plight of this cat was not his fault and it wasn't fair to have him spend the rest of his life in a box.
"Rumson" was clearly a cherished pet at some point in the past because he craved affection but his behavior made it very obvious that he was abused before he ended up in this particular shelter.
He was intensely affectionate when given the rare occasion to interact with people but then he could become vicious in an instant without warning, plus he did not get along very well with other animals.
This meant that his chances to exercise out in the play area were very restricted, which accounted for his weight. The fact that he had scratched all of the staff on many occasions meant that cleaning his cage was an unpleasant experience for all concerned. The bright yellow warning label on his cage made his prospects for adoption pretty remote.
This was a cat without a lot of prospects who was likely to live in a box for the rest of his life.
Adam and I decided to give Rumson a try, and I am delighted to say that just four months after adopting our ferocious feline, Rumson is a calm, loving and purring member of our family.
So how did Rumson go from fierce to fantastic?
Before we could make progress, first we had to figure out what the issues were.
Rumson had an issue with feet. He went absolutely ballistic on Adam when he tried to shoo him away from a door with my foot, which led me to suspect that Rumson may have been kicked as a part of his abuse before we got him from the shelter.
Once we knew about his foot issues, we always made a special point to step slowly and deliberately around him so he never felt endangered.
Our next breakthrough on Rumson's behavior came to be known in our house as "Roslyn Bryan's theory on pet communication." This idea probably works with both animals and people, but this little bit of understanding helped us relate to Rumson better so he could really start his emotional healing.
I've always believed than in order for a relationship to prosper, there should be clear communication between the participants. That's why I am convinced that another big problem that Rumson was facing is that he didn't feel "heard."
When Rumson had enough contact with us, he wouldn't even attempt to communicate his displeasure with the usual body language of kitties. There were none of the tell-tale signs like twitching tail, hissing, growling or flattened ears. When he had enough attention, Rumson would lash out and Adam or I were often caught completely off guard. This convinced me that his prior home might have had a young child or someone completely clueless on cat body language who couldn't take the hint.
Just like with people, when a cat tries to say something and gets constantly ignored, it is going to fall back on more and more unseemly conduct to make its feelings clear. If you ignore a cat's "request" for some alone time too often, he will eventually stop asking nicely and start taking a swat or a bite to make sure you get the idea. If enough time passes and the human side of the equation will not respond to the polite requests, the cat learns that this type of communication simply can't convey his message so he'll stop "playing nice" and just go straight to the fierce behavior.
It took a while for us to pick up on that Rumson did offer some clues of displeasure. Adam and I both have the scars to prove it, but we ultimately realized that we should watch his whiskers. He would pull them back close to his cheeks when he was about to attack. When that happened we would instantly stop what we were doing and give him some "alone time."
This eventually taught Rumson to understand that we wanted to be attentive to his needs, and that he should "use his words" and other means to express himself instead of getting all fierce every time something displeased him.
Finally, being stuck in a cage for so long, Rumson had a lot of energy, and he really need a lot of quality exercise-time to let it out in a non-destructive manner. We found a toy that he absolutely loves and Roslyn and I run him around until he is completely tired out.
He's lost a lot of the extra heaviness that he had, and this was fantastic bonding time for us all. Now he asks to play nicely by trotting over to us with his toy and meowing expectantly. THAT's a big step up in constructive kitty communication!
To sum it all up, a cat with "special needs" can become a lovely addition to your family. You just need to make sure you find out exactly what those special needs are and then act on them. Our wonderful Rumson had to learn that he was in a house of people that cared for him, were not going to hurt him, and listened so that he knew it was safe to go back to more gentlemanly ways of communicating.
Now that we are all taking the same language, everything is great in our happy home!
I'm Roslyn Bryan, and Adam, Rumson and I are here to tell you that a little understanding will go a long way to making any new pet quickly become a loving addition to your family. Please think about adopting a special needs pet if you can, even on a trial basis. They might need a little more attention, but they have a lot of love to give!
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