Working through your depression over your infertility isn't an option. It is a necessity. If you ever hope to actually get pregnant and start a family of your own then dealing with your depression over the troubles that you might be having is your first step towards actually becoming pregnant. Even though it is natural that you might feel some pain and anguish when you see a happy couple with a baby or when you hear about an unwanted baby, dealing with your emotional state and coping with your infertility is absolutely necessary.
Any kind of depression for any reason can bring your life to a complete halt if you don't deal with it. Depression can rob you of days of your life and also causes more harm to your body than you might realize. Even though you might have well meaning friends that will tell you that it will pass and that eventually you will pull out of it, this isn't considered help. People telling you that if you just stopped thinking about your infertility issues or that you can adopt if things don't work out doesn't help you right now. You might even find yourself wanting to further isolate yourself and even lie to your friends and family about your feelings because you feel that nobody understands you. Even though there are probably people around you that have been through the same thing, these words might not be of comfort because your depression might be linked to something deeper and more profound.
You might feel horrible about yourself. You don't have to tell anyone else. I know what it's like. You fear that you will never have a child of your own and you secretly believe that it's because you are a bad person. Maybe God or nature has set itself against you because the truth is that you fear that you are not fit to be a parent. Even though all around you are people that don't value their children or never wanted their children, there is something wrong with you and you fear that you will never be blessed with a baby. You try to figure it out on your own. Maybe you did something in your past and you feel that you're being punished for it or you feel that this is the one thing in your life that you really want so it will be denied from you because of your desire. You think that there is truly something wrong with you and that you are the ultimate cause of your infertility.
Getting down on yourself or beating yourself up isn't helping you. You're in a very dark place and there is no real truth to these thoughts or emotions. You are no different than anyone else that has gone through a trying time while trying to get pregnant. I know it's difficult to pick your head up after you've beat yourself down but you must if you ever hope to find any future happiness. There is hope and there are dreams still in your heart. Live those dreams and take the risk of spending some time each day with a smile on your face and joy in your heart as you think about how it's going to feel to hold your baby for the first time. Know in your heart that this is your future. Keep the big picture in your mind and see things down the road when you wake up in the middle of the night because your baby is calling to you. Delight in these dreams and dare to push back the darkness so you can start living again.
Yes, there will still be times when you're not going to feel like pulling yourself out of that dark place. You will be tired of fighting the darkness and you'll want to give in to the depression. You will have days when you'll be tempted to call off from work and just crawl back into bed because you don't think that you can handle the news that one more of your friends is pregnant. Giving into this temptation to isolate and give up the fight to stay positive and optimistic can be a slippery slope and one that you need to be aware of. Sometimes you're just going to have to push through it for one more day, one more hour or even one more minute to keep moving forward.
Another trick that can help you not only beat back the blues but to help yourself all around is to do some exercising. A quick walk around the block or a jog at the local high school track might be enought to help you to feel better. Exercising will get you out of the house and also help your body to battle the depression that is plaguing you. Exercise is also good for your body and helps you to overcome infertility also. Helpful natural chemicals are released into your body to improve your mood and your body will become a healthier place for your child when that day does come.
Doing something starting today to help eliviate your depression is a smart move. Putting it off until tomorrow might be tempting but there is a pretty good chance that you'll put it off tomorrow also if you do so. Start right now to make the changes in your life that will help you to battle this depression and put you on the road to overcoming infertility and ending that depression once and for all. After all, you can't be depressed about infertility while you're holding a newborn baby, right?
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