Something just doesn't seem the same any more, does it? What once consisted of constant hand-holding, hugs, and kisses has dwindled into hardly an effort on the part of your girlfriend to see how your day is going. Or, at least it seems that way. "My girlfriend doesn't love me any more, or at least it sure doesn't feel like it," you think to yourself.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking something like "if my girlfriend actually loved me, she wouldn't do these careless things to me?" You see, every person has distinctive presumptions in relationships. It is normal for you to have certain expectations and desires that, in your mind, serve as "evidence" that your girlfriend loves you. The interesting part is that since you think in the way that you do, you believe that your girlfriend will think in absolutely the same way. Unfortunately, if she doesn't exhibit the types of conduct that you regard as "loving," then you will most likely think that proves she really doesn't love you.
The actuality here is that your girlfriend could, in reality, love you very much. The case could really be that your girlfriend simply does not believe that her demonstrating constant signs of affection are required in order to "confirm" that she loves you. Your girlfriend, like yourself, is an individual, and she has her own ideals, opinions, and values. The idea of what love is and how to express it is unique to every individual. Your girlfriend only does what seems normal to her. Or, to put it a different way, she displays her love by doing whatever she believes is deemed as loving behavior in her own mind.
You might look for indications that your girlfriend loves you such as hand-holding, hugs, kisses or even a simple call each day, for example. However, your girlfriend may not think in the say way that you do. She may believe that just because she doesn't answer the phone every time you call, that does not mean she doesn't love you. And, when she doesn't answer the phone promptly and consistently or when she fails to meet the requirements that you have in mind, you end up asking yourself "does my girlfriend love me?"
Sadly, what you and your girlfriend both look for as evidence of one loving the other can really be at odds with one another. To her, it may be that she should not have to regularly let you know where she is and what she is up to, for instance. You allowing her the freedom to do what she wants without her having to continually update you, in her eyes, may be the authentication she looks for that says you undoubtedly love her. You, nevertheless, may look at her need for space at times as a sign that she doesn't love you in return as much as you do her because, in your mind, a person that loves you should always want to spend their every second with you.
You've likely read often that communication is essential in a lasting relationship. Even if you haven't, I'm letting you know now that such a statement could never be more truthful than it is in your existing situation. It is unmistakably important that you take the time to discuss with your girlfriend your expectations for the relationship and ask for hers as well. Be certain to bring up the matter of what you count on as a display of love from her, and hear out to what she has to convey on the matter as well.
On an additional note, when she does do the things that make you feel loved, strengthen them by letting her know that you appreciate her and what she has done for you. However, when her behaviors give you cause to doubt her love, then be clear and truthful with her about how you feel. You should not "scold" her as if she's done something wrong, however. Instead, you calmly and complacently let her know how you feel. Again, you must perpetually keep in mind that what you expect as loving behavior is not always going to align with her beliefs.
All through your relationship, there may be circumstances when you have to ask yourself, "does my girlfriend love me?" It is critical that you recognize and realize that just because you expect certain behaviors and mannerisms from your girlfriend as "proof" that she loves you, does not in any way "prove" that she doesn't when those behaviors are not present. Remember that everyone's definition of how to display love for their partner differs. Why not try paying less attention to what your girlfriend fails to do in the relationship, and focus more one everything that she does for you.
Author Resource:
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