We begin this journey through the major causes of low self-esteem: one of the most common limiting mindsets in Western societies; Now, answer the following questions carefully and honestly:
1. When you make an important decision, do you ask yourself repeatedly, if you're doing the right thing?
2. When someone does not accept your ideas, do feel anger and resentment?
3. Do you often feel that others do not agree with you for the sake of baiting you?
4. When failing an objective, do you have a tendency to attribute responsibility for this failure upon others?
5. Does the thought of leaving a job half-finished cause you some anxiety?
6. Do you expect that the people you love need somehow to be able read your mind?
7. Do you often believe that what you like, most others also like, and that everyone should conform to your standards?
8. Do you suffer irritation and difficulty changing your opinion, even when facts prove that you're wrong?
9. Do you have a tendency to be authoritarian and inflexible with people you know, yet freer and more compliant with strangers?
10. When you see a misaligned picture, do you feel an overpowering a compulsive need to straighten it, even if you're in someone else's home?
If you answered yes to at least two of these questions, it is likely that your life and your relationships are often ruined by 'drum roll' . . . PERFECTIONISM. Now clearly, we are all a little perfectionistic, but your quest is to understand what percentage of perfectionism detrimentally affects your choices and your behavior.
This thought and behavior pattern of perfectionism can be a real prison, because the scheme itself feeds the conviction of your being right, and imposing limits upon others. Thus excessive perfectionism can be very toxic to your self-esteem. The reason is that being so will place you in a position where you can never truly satisfy your wants, because you will always have the belief that you could have done better.
And the problem is that human-based perfection does not exist. You find yourself so caught up in an endless spiral of frustrated expectations with people who are not, and never say, what you want. It 's virtually impossible to be happy, unless you accept the world for what it is. And happiness depends on the ability to enjoy this, no matter how things are.
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What are the causes of perfectionism?
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The personal history of the perfectionist is underscored firstly, from a childhood lived under the banner of criticism. These children are almost always criticized for their mistakes and rarely recognized for their achievements. This constant exposure to criticism also leads to the creation of the famous "negative internal dialogue" This is a voice of a judgmental and cynical tone, that daily, provides long lists of failures.
The knock-on effect of these lists of failures is that they lead us to be ruthless with ourselves and impossibly demanding of others. The resulting consequence of this is unreasonably high levels of stress and tension, to say nothing of losing friends and negatively influencing others.
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5 great ways to loosen the stifling grip of perfectionism
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To begin with, here are some very useful tips to follow, before embarking on effective self-help work to alleviate the negative effects of perfectionism, in your daily life.
1. Look around, and note that the beauty of nature is not perfect, yet despite this, manages to amaze us with its beauty.
2. Focus on what people around you have done that is wholesome and worthy, rather than focusing solely on their mistakes or their faults. Remember there is sometimes value also in the things a person does not always do, as well as some of the things that a person never does.
3. The next time you form up a goal, make sure you create your expectations a little more realistically.
4. Always remind yourself that each person has a different way of thinking and acting. Are you really, really sure that your views are the only correct ones?
5. When you face a problem, try to find more forms of solutions, instead of fixating upon what you think is the only way forward.
Author Resource:
Now while you've got to admit this article has exposed some awesome points, restrictions disallowed the author from fully revealing his very best, most powerful instructions. Instructions that could make all the difference to your success. A far more in-depth treatise of this topic, with mountain loads of extra self-esteem tips may be found in a beautiful,comprehensive 48 page free book 'Make Your authority work for you - in just 3 days'. It 'll turn you into 'The Guru'. Did I mention to you that it's completely free of charge? At these sites: http://www.learn-mind-power.com or http://www.lifetakingform.com.au Hi5!
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